Divorce affects spouses in different ways. Women, who are more emotional in nature, often suffer the most during and after the divorce process. They end up alone with the kids, have little money and may experience depression for a long time. They feel devastated most of the time as they face the truth that their marriage has ended. And while they are going through an emotional turmoil, women need to be strong at the same time particularly when they have children to attend to.
Men, on the other hand, vary in their emotions after the end of their marriage. Some may show a strong front while the others who are more sensitive may become emotional. As to how they cope with the end of their marital relationship, the male spouses have their own way of dealing with the situation.
Surprisingly, research has shown that divorce makes men feel more devastated compared to women. A study, commissioned by Yorkshire Building Society to help create better mortgage products for divorcees, showed that men suffer more emotional trauma than women after the failure of their marriage. They also feel betrayed, confused and even suicidal.
The same survey found that 41 percent of men still felt sad more than two years after their divorce while only 33 percent of women experienced the same condition.
Another recent study published in the Journal of Men’s Health noted that divorced men are more likely to suffer from heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke. It added that 39 percent were more likely to display risky behavior and may be tempted to end their life.
An article published on Hufftington Post stated that men indeed experience more stress after separating from their wives. They go through three stages – losing their sense of identity, having a hard time dealing with their paternal instinct and not allowing themselves to grieve properly.
There are divorced men who feel lost even while in the process of divorce. It is during this time that they feel their identity is crushed. A positive step to take to deal with this emotion is to join a group such as those that involve men facing difficulties in their lives. This way, you learn from other men going through tough times like you and be able to listen to their experiences.
Fathers who get separated from their children also feel challenged during their divorce. Many are disheartened and may feel ashamed because of the impact of their divorce notably on the kids. But divorced men should maintain their relationship with their children despite the long distance and difficult set-up. By doing this, you can eventually heal yourself and lessen the feelings of shame.
Finally when it comes to grieving, Holli Palmer a Family attorney says you need a professional. The experts and those who’ve gone through divorce themselves recommend that men should seek counseling. This is a good way of pouring out one’s negative emotions that hurt you and lessening the risk of depression.