Lubricant can help make sex more enjoyable. Many women will experience vaginal dryness because of hormonal changes (like during pregnancy or after taking the pill), or as a side effect of some antibiotics. And even men will enjoy the ‘smoother ride’ that lubricant can provide. Here are some tips on choosing the best lubricant. [Read more…]
Sex and intimacy are very important foundations in any marriage it makes the partners feel secure and safe in the relationship and it also creates a bond between them. When intimacy and sex leaves the marriage you can be sure that it is indicative of brewing trouble.
The definition of a sexless marriage should be qualified though. It doesn’t necessarily mean that sex has totally left the marriage. For example, if you want to have sex everyday but your partner is only willing to have sex twice a week it is not a sexless marriage. But on the other hand, if you want to have sex three times a week and your partner is only willing once a month it is a sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage is hard to discuss sometimes and the other partner (usually the one who is not willing to get more intimate) will not likely understand what it means and what its implications are. Since their demand for sex is being met they don’t consider it a sexless marriage.
The huge difference in the sexual needs of the spouses is what triggers the trouble. One person will gain control of when sex is initiated and it leaves the other partner powerless and frustrated. Unfortunately, this situation is not uncommon. Studies show that 1 in 5 marriages are considered sexless. The effects of a sexless marriage can be hard because the constant rejection can make the partner feel unwanted and undesirable. It also contributes to feelings of being trapped in a relationship.
Some signs that you may be heading towards a sexless marriage are:
• Going to bed later or early than your partner to avoid the advances
• Relenting to sex out of guilt and not out of a desire to get intimate with your partner
• Argue about sex
• Blaming each other about sex or the reasons for not having sex
• Complaining that the partner is always amorous
• Blaming the children, work or other external problems for not wanting sex
• Feeling resentful or angry towards your partner
• Wondering whether your spouse loves you or not
• Shutting down emotionally and building a wall around yourself to protect yourself from rejection
• Feeling frustrated because your partner does not seem to understand where you’re coming from
• Entertaining thoughts of finding companionship with other people
Famous personality Dr. Phil says that sexless marriages is an epidemic, with an estimated 20 to 40 million couples in the US alone complaining of this particular problem.
A sexless marriage can be fixed but the issue of sex and intimacy in a marriage is so hard to discuss. A discussion of the underlying causes for a sexless marriage can also lead to more friction. For example, work is one factor that is most commonly brought up when dealing with this problem. But marriage experts say that all the hard work is ultimately wasted if it means a failed relationship. Also, there are spouses who think that sex is ultimately not important in a relationship. Unfortunately, if the problem goes on for too long, permanent damage on the relationship is inevitable.
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Sensual touching is a very erotic activity. And contrary to what people often think, sensual touching is actually a two-way street. As your partner derives pleasure from you touching her skin, you also get pleasure feeling your partner’s skin. The most wonderful moment is whenever you and your partner are in tune with each other and both have one goal – to pleasure each other.
Touch is something that women absolutely love. But even though women love it, different women would react to it. Some will be more in tune with their sensuality and will be open to it, while others will be more reserved and will be quite closed to it. You should create opportunities to touch your partner more often so that they’ll get used to it and drop their inhibitions. By touching your partner often you’ll also elicit more feelings of comfort and attraction from her. She’ll also gain feelings of safety and sexual excitement.
When you touch her try and look into her eyes. By holding her gaze you will increase the intensity of what she is feeling. Don’t be discouraged if she gazes down, she’ll eventually look at you again and you can hold that gaze now.
You can also try exploring her body by touching her in different ways. Allow your hands to explore her body while paying attention to areas where she responds more positively. Women have different erogenous zones and it’s your job to find out where those are so that the next time you touch her, you’ll know the areas where she will respond more positively. This will be an added treat for her.
The way you touch her is also going to make a lot of contribution to how she feels in the end. Make sure that your touch is light and delicate. Use the tips of your fingers instead of the palms of your hands. At some points you can use the palms of your hands but do it gently. Caress her back and her neck. Then the inside and the back of legs. You can also gently caress her face and her upper arms.
One of the things that is most often forgotten when touching a woman is her hair. Women love it when you gently stroke their hair. Women feel a sense of love and security just by doing this. You can actually start your sensual touching with the gentle stroking of her hair and then work yourself down to her face and eventually her body.
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Betrayals cut deep into the core of a person’s being. The initial pain is sharp and painful while effects linger on to intermittently hurt and affect the future. The truth of a spouse having an affair with another cannot easily be handled with grace and acceptance. Those who say otherwise probably never knew the pain of betrayal.
Too tired for sex? Problems with low libido or erectile dysfunction? You’ll find many vitamin supplements that claim to give instant relief (and in a much safer way than Viagra!)
But do these supplements really work, and what are some side effects that you may need to watch out for? Here is a simple, straightforward guide to help you find out if these supplements can really boost your sex life—or if you’re better off spending your money on a romantic dinner for two.
While most of the supplements are safe, it’s best to talk to your doctor—especially if you have a history of heart problems and other chronic conditions, are taking maintenance medication, or are planning to conceive.
You also need to buy the supplements from trustworthy source. There are many companies that try to take advantage of customers, selling cheap knock-offs of well known brands. Some may also contain dangerous chemicals (for example, some ginseng supplements also contain pesticides). Buy from reputable stores or websites that checks all the products that they sell, such as consumerlab.com.
Ingredients that boost sex drive and sexual performance
So what’s in those supplements, anyway? Many of them contain ginseng, which contains nitric oxide (also found in Viagra). It has also been known to improve energy levels, so this may help if your biggest complaint is that you’re too tired to have sex. Nitric oxide is also found in Gingko, Pycnogenol (extracted from pine bark) and L-Arginine. These also improves blood flow to the penis. However, arginine is not safe for people who have high blood pressure, and it should not be combined with other medications like Viagra.
Yohimba has had some success in helping with erectile dysfunction. Double check any products to see if it contains enough active ingredients (it should be first in the list of ingredients on your bottle, under the name yohimbine, or yohimbine hydrochloride) and is made from the yohimbe tree. It may cause anxiety and high blood pressure.
Black cohosh increases blood flow to the pelvis, which can enhance sexual experience for women. It can also help manage the symptoms of menopause, which can hamper sex drive.
Chasteberry (in contrast to its name) helps increase libido by elevating the body’s levels of progesterone and dopamine.
Pycnogenol, extracted from pine bark, also boosts nitric oxide levels,
Non-oral herbal remedies
Women may also want to take botanical oils and extracts to improve their pleasure and sense of arousal. For example, zestra (which contains borage seed oil, evening primrose oil, angelica extract, and vitamins C and E) is applied to the genital area to boost blood flow to the clitoris.
Women who are experiencing vaginal dryness cal also try Vitamin E oil, which is applied to the vagina to increase lubrication.
if you’re not interested in taking supplements, you can also try eating foods that boost your sex drive.
Photo from healthjockey.com